I love Coffee. What makes coffee so great is the caffeine. Caffeine and I are best friends. The cocoa bean is in tropical places, normally at high altitudes. The cocoa bean needs the best air and needs tended to meticulously because without that, the bean cannot produce the caffeine it was grown to produce. Coffees purpose is to produce caffeine, if it isn’t set in the best positions, the crushing that we do to make the coffee will not be meaningful.
The same goes in relationships. Relationships reveal who we really are. If we do not tend to the core of who we are, or your purpose, the crushing of a relationship will make you taste like a relationship but have no purpose. One of the airs that breeze through relationships is emotion. Emotions if handled in the wrong way can lead relationships down a path that keep you rooted in the repetitious mediocrity of life.
All of us have emotions. Emotions that drive what we do, how we respond, and in turn how we paint our picture of the world. To tame our emotions, I plead with you to consider the source of your emotions. Are your emotions rooted in your passions, or in your need for others to enjoy you? Are they manipulative? Do you use your emotions as a mean to gain power?
I remember in my quest to gain power in my first opportunity in leadership, I was a very manipulative person, not allowing my leadership to lead, but my emotions to guide activity. As a consequence I pushed my way to the top…but as a group we failed. Who should have lead was in the wrong position all because I wanted the title of leader. The same applies to relationships. Manipulation gets us nowhere. Emotions that manipulate, canive and mis-lead kill before anything gets born.
Now what? Root your emotions in Jesus. In order to move ahead, you have to be rooted in the simple. We need to remember, as Paul told the church in Ephesus, Christ is the chief cornerstone on which everything else is built. The fact that I say this makes you upset. But when you weed through your personal emotions beyond the sweet, piestic and church aura of being rooted in Jesus, many of you reading this don’t possess the seed of faith the size of a mustard seed that can become the biggest shrub of all and a tree where others come for shelter (matt 13:31—32) Bad fruit in your life and relationships only come because Jesus is not your root. Is your faith a place of shelter for your significant other, your friends? Are you so emotionally driven that the slightest breeze affects each of your steps? Are your words emotionally charged, or are you unreadable that your faith speaks?
Say less. Say it the best. Say it with grace
I often find myself going back to Genesis quite often in life. Actually all week I've been stuck there, absolutely captivated. I believe part of my infatuation is rooted in relation to being human and the real life emotion found in these verses. Love, relief, confusion, lust, desire, hatred, remorse, and anger all cry out not in just these passages but within myself. You may be like me and read scriptures an arm length away by having thoughts like, "I would never do that" or "Adam you had 1 job" and "really, Eve?" Buts, I somehow land right in the middle, "I can't believe I did that." How many times have I done something, I thought I would never do based on emotion? Countless.
I found that relationships not only bring the best to us but bring the worst out of us. Relationships tap into emotions you didn't even know you had. I found that one of my major side effects of emotions is talking. Emotions not properly trained not only produce weapons of mass destruction but they are a mirror introducing you to who you really are. It truly is the revelation of the God in our lives.
Denying your emotion is truly a death to self and death is never easy. Does that mean that you can't have emotion? Not at all. It means love hard, get angry, laugh until it hurts but in all these emotions remember the God that is in you. I guess my captivation with Genesis rests in the fact that like them I am a beast needing to be tamed and captured by the love of Jesus. The root of my actions based in emotion are costly. A true person has sincere emotion but their actions are in the way of the Lord.
This week reflect on the root of all actions.
Feeling insecure, and want to call up that old boyfriend? Kill It!
Want to snap out on that coworker? Kill it!
Want to tear down your significant other bc they don't react how you want them to? Kill it!
Its your week to have a funeral.
Dealing with your emotions is Not easy or is it fun. So, we are here to Help! C.R.U.S.H. it.
C – Create Opportunities to Be Present
Life is full of strategic opportunities. Every opportunity you have be present in that moment. Don’t concern yourself with yesterday or tomorrow. Think like this, God is not concerned with your past, nor is God trying to worry You about your future. God is in the present trying to get close to you. Apply that to your relationship. Don’t bring into your present moment yesterday (yes that 25 year old yesterday), nor don’t bring into the moment tomorrow (when you aren’t living paycheck to paycheck) but stay grateful that in this moment you have a loved one who wants to be next to you…no matter where life has you.
R – Rest in what and who you are
You. Are. Somebody. So your emotions are valid. Remember that. Voice it. Rest in who you are beyond your emotions. They broke up with you? Cool. But the person sitting in front of you hasn’t. That Job hurt you before? Yes. Your current job isn’t the greatest but you just filled your gas tank up with the money they gave you. Rest in you. You. Are. Somebody.
U – Understand life is life
You will have emotions. From Genesis 1 when sin was revealed, we miss emotions were brought out in that moment. At first Adam and Eve were leaders, innovators…and then fruit came…and they got emotional. Life happens, you will be emotional. It happens. But think about this moment when you can speak about it in past tense, how will you want to talk about it? Regret or Rest?
S – Stand on possibility
Jesus sees each of us as blood washed cleaned people. We are the only ones who speak about how dirty we are. Jesus sees us through the eyes of possibility. The sad thing is, we don’t see ourselves through Jesus eyes. See your significant other, see yourself through the eyes of possibility. How can you build on a moment of exposed emotions and ruffled feathers, stand on what this relationship will produce in other areas. Will this moment hurt that moment? Will it delay that moment? Stand on possibility! See your relationship like Jesus sees your relationship.
H – Hush it up
For people like me (Justin) that means talking. For people like me (Courtney) that means being quiet. Learn to speak or not speak. Do you need to say something that can articulate the moment or are you staying quiet to annoy the other? Say it! Do you need to stop talking not to ruin moments unnecessarily? Hush!
It's not going to be easy, but cheers to not letting your emotions become the master of our lives. Let's put our complete trust in the One who loves like crazy, the One who has been irritated by others, the One that wept in the toughest of times, but the One that still walks in the light and is the light.
Work together with one another in your emotions. Relationships are not a one-way street, it is two ways. You complement one another, meaning you cannot progress without moving together. If your other is an emotional person, do this, Focus on the other aspects of that person, speak life to other aspects of the relationship and allow them to grow in their roots in Christ to be the tree planted by the rivers of Water that God called us to be. If you are the unemotional quiet person, do this, speak up. Be present so that you can plant that seed of mustard into the ground together. You have to work together in this. In a relationship, you can be 99% compatible, but if you focus on the 1% you will live in pain. Live in the 99. Root yourself in Christ. Become the master of your emotions. Let the Crushing begin!